Thanksgiving Weekend

That was a short-lived celebration!  Counts are back down...however, the nurse said this is the normal road right after chemo.  At least we are getting away with no shots right now.  I asked if he needed them, since his counts were down again, but they said no...so there you go!  Apparently his other blood counts are borderline, so he's getting a transfusion for a bonus!  He always feels better after a transfusion, so I don't mind as much as Jake does.  He is amazingly keeping a good attitude!  Love you Jake!

Half Way There!

Chemo week 20!  Some counts were down but his ANC was way up...so, no more shots (this week) and he gets to go to Thanksgiving Dinner!  Yeah!

Chemo: Week 19

Jake is telling me to quit taking pictures of him.

Well, it has been a long week...for me.  We were suppose to go in for chemo on Tuesday, but they asked us if we wanted to wait until Wednesday.  We had an appointment with the Radiology doc, which was not very productive. She made us very late for chemo.

Jake hates the overnight stays at the hospital so we inquired as to the possibility of him not having a hospital stay, but just getting chemo in the clinic.  We would have to stay all day, but that's a lot less time than staying over night.  They are going to try it on our next scheduled overnight stay.  We'll see how it goes!

The best news was that Jake gained a couple pounds!  He is really trying to eat more so he can heal faster!  He still has some color in his face from his last transfusion...oh maybe I didn't mention that.  Jake's counts were critically low a couple weeks ago.  His skin was so pale!  The nurse said he needed to come in for a transfusion on Friday, so since Dave was home, I let him have a turn doing the Jake-hospital bonding time.  They gave him 3 liters of blood instead of 2 and topped it off with a bolus of platelets.  Unfortunately, Jake spiked a fever while he was at the hospital so they made him stay overnight on a regimen of antibiotics.  Jake called me and begged me to get the doctors to release him to home.  He said he hated the food, so I made him a sandwich and some jello (his request) and made the 45 min. drive up the the hospital to comfort my poor Jakey.  I had to drive home in a big snow storm and only 2 hours sleep the night before, but Jake's worth it. 

 Here is Jake, who wasn't happy because he just threw up the yummy sandwich I had brought him from home.

Chemo continues to damage Jake's body.  He continues to have more numbness in his hands and feet and is losing a lot of strength. He's trying to stay upbeat, but the treatments are getting tiring for all of us. (sigh!)  The doctors and nurses keep encouraging us to stay strong and the prayers are really helping, so thank you, all!  

Next week will mark the half way mark of chemo treatments.  April 12, 2011, is the last schedule chemo treatment.  That will be my new favorite day! (Happy thoughts!)

Letter to a friend...

Thanks Cathy!  It means a lot to me to not be forgotten.

Dave and I were talking today and I mentioned how blessed I felt that I was receiving some amazing strength from heaven.  I truly believe that people are praying for us from here and in heaven, and this gives us strength and extra blessings!

I had to give a funeral talk a few years ago.  It, in and of itself was an amazing experience.  The person that died actually came to me when I was writing the talk and told me what he wanted me to say.  He was shot and killed suddenly, so he didn’t have a chance to bid a proper good-bye to his family.  You know how the tears flow and I get choked up when I’m at the pulpit.  Well, I prayed for strength to get through that talk without blubbering, because it would have taken away the spirit I was hoping would rest upon the congregation.  I don’t know how to describe it, but it was like someone poured extra strength ability to speak without falling apart into my veins!  I was bound up with some kind of power beyond my own possibilities!  I know it was because of prayers in my behalf.

That is what I am feeling now…bound up with some kind of power beyond my own.  I feel an unbelievable amount of patience and peace.  The speed has increased in how fast principles of the gospel are being deeply rooted into my understanding and into my heart.  I am so amazed at the tender mercies I receive and I love how God points them out to me, and how he shows me over and over and over again, how much he loves me!  It’s like entering into a beautiful spring garden and he is showing me all the beautiful things he knows my heart will delight in.

Sometimes trial, tribulation and heart ache are the keys we need to use to get into these places of beauty, light and understanding, but especially love.  How interesting that these same keys open two doors…they can also open doors to despair, sorrow and hopelessness.  How awesome is it that we have the agency to choose which door we go through.

I was at a doctor’s office the other day and an older man mentioned that he wished he could go back and change his life.  I reflected on my life and what I had been through so far.  Repeat…No Thanks!  It was hard enough the first time!  I prefer Jesus’ plan…repent and start fresh…every day!  Fabulous!

When I think back on this challenging time, I don’t think I’m going to remember the worries and sad moments, or the heart wrenching moments watching Jake suffer through the cancer treatments, so much as I will remember the warm feelings, the testimony building moments, the blessings and the closer relationship I gained with my Savior and Heavenly Father.  Hard?   Yes!  Worth it?  Yes!  Would I want to do it again?  No…because I have already traveled this road and I would like to try something else…seriously!

My peace is, that no matter how hard or wretched the journey, the sweetness, love and amazing blessings are on the other end of the pendulum and are equal in strength and magnitude!

I didn’t mean to write a sermon!  It’s very therapeutic for me to write what’s in my heart.  It helps me to feel more grateful when I share, so thanks for listening. :)

Love you guys!

Chemo: Round 16

 

Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times!

 

 

 The CT Scan showed the candy in his pocket.

You'll have to click on this picture to see the full effect.  To the right of the capital building is LDS Hospital where 4 of my boys were born.  Occasionally we get a nice view from Jake's hospital room.  Last time, we had a nice view of the parking garage!  See the storm rolling in? I had to drive home in a huge snow storm!

Ever since Jake found out he had cancer he has been wearing two different shoes because one of the shoes rubbed on his toe wrong and gave him an infection.  He ended up having his toenail removed.  I finally asked him if he wanted a new pair of shoes (I thought he was making a fashion statement).  He said, "yes, that would help!"  Hmmmm, all this time I thought he liked wearing his shoes like this!
 

Here's Jake with some of his Conkerr Cancer pillow cases.  They let him pick some colorful pillow cases when he is admitted, to brighten up the drab white colors of the hospital.  The tubes connected to him (which are actually connected to line up by his heart) are where they give him saline to make sure he is hydrated enough so the chemo doesn't fry his insides (too much).  When he is hydrated enough, they push the chemo through this IV that goes directly into his arteries.  I hate to think what it is doing to his heart!


He often brings his own blanket from home.  I have to wash everything when I get it home because it is toxic from his sweat.  He is smiling...for me.  He gets hardly any sleep because he has to go to the bathroom every hour.  The best part of the hospital stay is coming home.

Besides losing his hair and his appetite, he is losing a lot of strength and feeling in his fingers and toes.  I have to open toothpaste and water bottles for him.  He is down to 125 lbs.  It's getting harder and harder to find a place to give him his shots.  I have to make him double up and pinch the skin together to fabricate fat.

Love you Jake!  Hang in there, bud!

Scan result

The scan was very good.  The lymph nodes are no longer swollen and his tumor has shrunk to about 1/2 the size it was.

Jake update 10/26/2010

Jake's hair is fuzzing in, but he says it still falls out easily.  I was very disappointed to hear this because I was hoping it was growing back for good!  I guess we can't hope for a good head of hair until April, when the chemo is over with!

We are here at PCMC getting a contrast scan done.  We find out the results around noon, then he gets admitted to the hospital for Chemo Week 16.  Hopefully all the drinking he has to do for the scan will help him be hydrated enough for his chemo.

It was nice to have a little break from the chemo for the past two weeks, but the trip to the ER didn't make it feel like a real break!  Maybe next time! :) 

Jake said he was done with cancer!  He is tired of treatments and of the pain and sickness that goes with it.  I could barely get him out of bed this morning to bring him into the hospital.  Nevertheless, he did get up and come, he is drinking the 3 cans of rootbeer in an hour so he can get his scan and he is trying to drink lots to be hydrated enough to get his chemo treatment. 

We come to the hospital and we see lots of little ones with cancer.  It's so sad!