Sigh!

Jake spiked a 103 fever again last night.  Again, he wouldn't go to the hospital.  I even had another doctor talk to him and tell him this could be a life-threatening infection...to no avail.  He looked at me and said, sorry mom....the invincible teenager thing.

I spent my first summer away from home on the University of Utah campus.  This beautiful fountain is located just east of the library and was a place of solace and fun for me.  What is obstructed by the tree is the thin, 4 inch straight piece of cement that goes from one set of stairs to the other.  So often I would climb these stairs barefoot and walk across the top, often stopping and doing some moves I learned in gymnastics in the middle (Did I mention that the part I was walking on was only 4 inches wide!).  Below is a mere 1-2 feet of water, then concrete.  Invincible was I!

Did I ever fall and hurt myself?  No.  Did wisdom come with age?  Sometimes. 

One husband and 5 boys later, I visited that fountain and looked again, at the width across the top.  I found myself gasping and wondering how I could be so brave and carefree.  Perhaps it was faith I had...more faith than sense.

Should I question Jake's faith?  Although it makes no sense to me not to follow the doctor's orders, I have to rely on my faith, and Jake's, my mother's intuition and the guidance of the holy spirit to get us through this.  I have faith that the Spirit will tell me when to override Jake's stubbornness.  God knows Jake, even better than Jake does, so I depend on Him to tell me what to do...whatever is best for Jake.  I pray that Jake knows when to give in to God.

My prayers are not what you might think for Jake.  I pray for whatever is best for Jake...then the strength to accept whatever that might be.  He warned me that this would be hard...and it is.  But, He also said I would like the outcome...whatever it is...it will be the best for Jake (I keep reminding myself!).

Be still my soul!